I've just been really confused lately. Everything feels so different and I don't know why. I'm trying not to give up on things but it is not easy. I want to be free and just leave this place behind me. it feels like I'm stuck in life.
Its hard to let go of things that I thought were true. I want to move forward but I'm stuck in memories.
Things seemed to get better but now I'm not so sure anymore. They have not gotten any worse but nothing has changed. I don't know what to feel anymore. I'm only trying to live. I do not want to be this way anymore.
I'll never give up though things are hard right now. I have changed so much for the better.
Its been a really long time since I wrote something in here so I decided to post something. I don't know what to say exactly so this will be more of my really late night ramblings. I need a change in my life. I don't know how to get it but I know I will.

I have already changed so much. I don't even see myself as myself anymore. I'm not as angry all the time like I used to be. I want to enjoy life not waste it a way on pointless things.

Of course there are still things that need to change but I'm working on it. Its not very easy but I'm still here.
I've been doing allot of thinking about life lately and its been strange. I want to live but the thoughts of death are still in my mind. Its so hard to let go of somethings and I don't know why. this is not the end but it still feels like it is. I don't know where to go from here. Life is always a winding path and sometimes it feels like it can be a downward spiral.

No matter what happens I'll still be here. Giving up will not be a option. Things are always changing and I'm looking forward to see what happens next.



August 2015

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